Someday You Will Be Gone

Hey kitty kitty,

I never understood why your owners have been so desperate to get rid of you until I had to spend the week with you. Stepping in a mound of your warm throw-up barefoot in the dark also helped clear some things up for me. I know the majority of your life has been spent being a good cat, but waking me up before 6am every morning by pawing on the blinds above my bed isn't a very classy way to end "things". You know? Anyway, your days are numbered and I just wanted to share some stuff.

Through your life you have had so much going for you--the pound lady, dogs, all animals larger than you. I am really impressed with your consistent standard of living. 6am. Every morning. I know you are probably worried that you won't be able to finish the novel that you have been inscribing on the side of Krisitne's favorite couch. But you're a hard worker. And you get what you want. Remember all those times you came meowing at me because you wanted me to pour food in your bowl but there was already a lot of food in your dish and you just wanted me to shake the food pellets around so that you could hear the metallic clinging of the food pellets on the side of your cat dish just to make sure you know food was really in there? Do you?! Fun times.

I know you won't be around for much longer. This is why I am being so nice to you.

No comments: